Susan D. Bonaiuto

Susan Dettbarn Bonaiuto, of Needham, MA, passed away on April 9, 2026 after a 15-month journey with glioblastoma, met with the same grace, curiosity, and warmth that defined everything she did. She was 66.

Sue grew up in Westwood, Massachusetts, with deep roots in Plainville, New York, where her family ran Plainville Farms – a place that shaped her appreciation for hard work, community, and the kind of gathering that feeds people in every sense of the word. She earned a Bachelor of Music from Bucknell University, a Master of Arts in Arts Administration from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, and both a Master of Arts in Political Science and Government and a Doctor of Education in Educational Leadership and Administration from Boston College.

Her career was devoted to the arts and education in equal measure. She served as Director of the New Hampshire State Council on the Arts, bringing resources and visibility to creative communities across the state. She later joined Needham Public Schools as Director of Planning and Community Education, spent three years as Executive Director for Massachusetts at BELL, was a founding leader of EarlyBird Education, and served as a trusted consultant to many nonprofits.

Sue had a gift for what she called “disproportionate pleasure”: finding outsized joy in something small, whether a cup of coffee on her back deck or the wind-down ritual of an episode of Jeopardy. Her home in Needham was a center of gravity for friends and family, always warm, always welcoming, always stocked with good food and playing good music. She was a perfect host and an even better friend. Her advice was practical and whip-smart, and if you were lucky enough to receive it, you were probably on the right track. Her most enduring counsel: "You can do it all – just not at the same time."

She was an ardent supporter of the arts, including the ensembles led by her husband of 42 years, Sebastian Bonaiuto, who has served as Director of Bands at Boston College for nearly four decades. Their partnership was one of shared purpose, deep love, and mutual admiration.

Sue is survived by her husband Sebastian; her daughter Andrea and son-in-law Nick, their son Lorenzo, and a granddaughter arriving this April; her son David and daughter-in-law Jenna; her mother Ruth Dettbarn; her brothers Albert and Bob Dettbarn and their wives Annie and Almudena; and countless cousins, nieces, nephews, and friends she treasured dearly.

A private burial will take place at Mount Auburn Cemetery, where a tulip tree has been dedicated in her honor. A celebration of life open to all who loved her will be held at Hazel Dell at Mount Auburn on Monday, June 8 from 11am-1pm. In true Sue fashion, we invite you to come as you are, wearing whatever makes you most comfortable (no black required!). Bring your favorite stories and memories, and raise a glass to the extraordinary Sue.

In lieu of flowers, the family welcomes donations to Boston College's Vanacore Fund

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